But the fact is that she is a valuable companion to my grandma, providing conversation, shared memories of life in their small town, and a sounding board for the daily aches and pains of growing old. Millie is infamous for scolding other residents, tweaking their cheeks, and complaining about everything from the thinness of the soup to the nurse who wouldn't give her the constipation medicine she desired. The lady slapped her on the cheek and said "You know, Millie, I've never liked you and I never will." Smackdown at the nursing home people, and Florence is taking names.
#WATERMELON ZOTZ MOVIE#
Millie scolded one of the other residents one too many times during the popcorn popping for movie night. Everest and called the other night from Ecuador." (actually true) The story loses a bit of steam when she adds "Now she lives in Des Moines." My grandma usually one-ups her with "My grandson and his wife just got back from Mt. Millie's granddaughter spent a semester in the Congo delivering twins or something. Elderly people thrive on bragging about their kids/grandkids/distant relative's accomplishments. Hello, the 1940's called and they want their inappropriate lingo back. The first time I had a real conversation with her, she used three different racial slurs in our 15 minute conversation. Millie listens to 7 sermons every Sunday and is convinced those who only listen to 4 need to be saved. 
Yep, I'm sure that makes all the difference and not the 17 pills you each take every day. Millie is convince my grandma will fall into ill health if she doesn't drink the syrup that comes with the canned peaches they have every night.
"Look at my white skin, I am a real lady." Hate to break it to you, Mil, but no modeling agency is going to be calling you anytime soon to do a hand cream commercial.
When my grandma spent the afternoons outside this summer and got tan hands as a result, Millie bragged about her own hands. But man, did it ruin her night that other people moved one seat over. Last week she cried all through supper because some people were not sitting in their assigned seats and she would like to "just sit wherever she pleased too." When pressed by my grandma about where she'd like to sit instead, she admitted she liked just where she was (because she can see everyone who comes in and talk about them). I think I bought some fries 3x over the course of the summer, but otherwise I was too cheap and lived on the PB&J (and Pasta-roni and potatoes at my apartment). I worked at Valleyfair, a family amusement park, and you had to keep your lunch in your locker or buy from the cafeteria. I ate a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich at least once a day the summer after my freshman year of college. My mother is a wonderful cook, but it's impossible to have dinner ready for consumption anywhere from 12:00-1:30, dependent on machinery breakdowns, dairy cow birth schedules, or the arrival of bull buyers. I blame this on the fact that my farmer father was rarely home for meals on time, causing much of what we ate to be slightly to severely overdone. I like my grilled meat burned to black. 
I figure if I don't catch her in the act, what can it hurt? I have finished drinking a glass of milk sitting on my end table that I suspect my beagle may have taken a slurp out of while I was out of the room.Sometimes I watch it from the treadmill at the gym and sometimes I watch it from my couch while eating chocolate ice cream with Oreos. I love watching The Biggest Loser on TV.Kind of defeats the purpose of eating the broccoli when it's followed by a brownie batter chaser. Sometimes I bake a whole pan of brownies to mask the smell. My husband cannot stand the smell of steaming broccoli.
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